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Clearing out some old files and I came across a folder containing some old articles I wrote and was published in magazines before. So I started reading them. And if I have to say so, I was impressed with my own writing. Flipped to the cover to check the year, and it was over a decade ago. I don’t even remember that girl – who I was, where I got the inspiration, and what I thought about what I wrote.

At 23, I was granted a 4-page center-spread in a high circulation magazine – writing about the atrocities of war as an impact on children. It was pretty good writing too, this piece skewed towards a more reporting kinda style.

The strangest thing was, I don’t remember writing it and reading it made me felt like it was the first time I read this. What was I thinking back then?

Money. I was thinking about making the couple of hundred bucks that article was gonna give me – to pay for bills, and to survive. If you’ve read my earlier blogs you would know a bit of my story – have been out in the world almost all on my own since 18. So I traded every legitimate, saleable skill I have, as morally as I can, to make that extra dough.

And in the process, I think I must have sold myself pretty short. I could have charged more, be more focused, bring it to a higher level – make a name for myself, as a writer, or performer, or speaker, or something. But because it was not hard for me to do quite a lot, it was hard for me to value what I have been blessed with.

Who else do you know that is like this? Talented in so many ways, with so many options to take so many roads – short of just giving it some true focus and honing a skill, but never really amounted to anything because of what I recognize now as a lack of gratitude.

No I’m not trying to be harsh. It’s true. Think about it. We have so much self-sabotage issues that we forget to be grateful for what we already have. In so many ways we are ungrateful for what we’ve been given. Here are some examples:

1. Body: If you smoke, drink alcohol, take drugs, don’t exercise, eat unhealthily, etc etc – it’s truly just external manifestations for a lack of gratitude for your body. (I’m not dissing you – I’m an ex-alcoholic & chain smoker, so I get the badge to say this.)

2. Talents: If you are shy or bashful in the expressing of your talents, and keep it to yourself because of a fear of being judged – that’s a manifestation of ingratitude to your Creator; because you were created magnificent and your responsibility is to give that to the world.

3. Relationships: if you remain in an abusive relationship or are abusing others verbally, emotionally, physically – that’s ingratitude for the life force within you and those you’re in relationship with.

I can go on, but I guess you get my point. For me before, it would be an ingratitude of my own worth – I never really stopped, appreciated & honed the skills I have been bestowed with. Because I was so busy trying to make a living. Now I know better but it did take many years. But I’m grateful for being here now. In this very moment, writing this very word.

So I take the time now to do a “Namaste” moment on myself everyday. Honoring the divine within me and everything I encounter. Taking myself and people seriously. Living life on purpose. Making clearer choices. Not just drifting along unconscious. Making “contribution” a standard for how successful my day was. Mastering myself in moments of emotional turmoil. Recognizing and giving thanks for the gifts I see in me and in others. Taking care of my body and the food I consume.

How do you practice gratitude? Do share your comments below, would love to hear your story too.



Happy Birthday Daddy


I remember when I was 1
You were like my sun
Framing up my babyish scrawls
Proudly displaying them on your walls

I remember when I was 4
You said I should never feel small
I could be anything I want
A ballerina, an athlete, a star

And then I was 13
You vetted every boyfriend-to-be
And tried to teach me about sex
With great books that made simple the complex

It was tough being 18
You were afraid to set me free
To a world that was rough and mean
I rebelled to see what I could be

And while I struggled through my 20’s
Lost and confused by myself
I know now you struggled with your worries
Praying that I’d be safe somehow

Today I am in my 30’s
And I’d finally come to see
That you have always been my guiding star
And only because of your love & faith – could I have come this far.

Happy Birthday Dad,
You’re 61 today
For 35 years you’ve been my hero
And it’ll always be that way.

I love you Daddy. XOXO


Risky Is The New Safe ~ Poetic Rock Opera!

So I just finished Randy Gage’s latest book “Risky Is The New Safe”, if you can call it a book. It felt more like a composition of an artist – a compilation of inspirations brought forth by the melding and fluctuations of the rhythms, pitches and harmonies making up the world as we live it today. Experienced through his being. Flowed out through his fingers. Uncensored. Raw. And disturbing.

Dramatic? I may be. But this piece of work, I didn’t read it – I flowed with it.

It took me longer than usual to finish it. I read fast usually. But this was something I had to savor – it was like a trail of surprisingly delightful ideas, thoughts and gems, sprinkled through the pages; some funny, some from out of space, some grounded, but all – thought-provoking. So Gage, don’t ask me again why I took so long to finish your masterpiece. I eat my chocolates the same way.

Now, if there is anything at all that I learned about Randy Gage in my few short years of having the honor of calling him my mentor, beloved friend and favoritest rocksta in the world; is that there is nothing very normal about him. And now I am convinced that all along, he is actually a psychic Jedi from another galaxy posing as a bald multimillionaire (and with this book, I can wager a prediction myself – soon-to-be billionaire).

So….after finishing this piece, I’m really not sure how to categorize this book. And I’m really not sure I should try. Like its author, it’s not really categorizable (yes, I made that word up like I did the one above too. Chillax.) You see, it’s not really about business, yet it is. It’s not really about magic, yet it is. It’s not really about leadership, yet it is. It’s not really about how to’s, yet it is. It’s beyond conventional labels as we know it.

If I had to find a way to label it, I’d call it a manifesto – an exciting, thought-provoking compilation of warnings, predictions, and wisdom. A call for us to awaken to the reality of a brave new world that is already upon us, urging us to embrace it so that we may prosper. Spirituality, science fiction, economics, philosophy and more – all made relevant to help you claim your divine potential to create unlimited wealth in a world on a speeding roller-coaster of inevitable change.

It’s a book about exciting possibilities – YOUR exciting possibilities.

All I know is that something like this needed to be captured on paper; and only a soul as open, objective,  and authentic as Randy Gage could have written it the way it needed to be written.

So, to heed it or otherwise, that will remain your prerogative.

But read it you must. Who knows what it will bring forth from you?

So click on this link, scroll to the bottom & pre-order your copy of “Risky Is The New Safe” now:


Lastly, thanks rocksta – this piece is truly a poetic rock opera. I don’t know how else to describe it!


Randy Gage’s First Ever Prosperity Power Program in Singapore!

Hey folks,

If you’re in Asia Pacific – check this out and go get your tickets here NOW:


Seats are limited, and it WILL run out! This man is phenomenal & this would be one amazing event!


Be The Phoenix

I was at a fabulous workshop last night by Milestone Trainings – one that deals with relationships and our roles in creating the results we create whilst in one. This event was particularly focused on romantic relationships, but the message is universal for all relationships we enter into.

Who is running your life & relationships? Your beliefs or you?

Then people would ask, aren’t my beliefs mine? Don’t they therefore, belong to me and thus, it’s all me?

Yes they are all yours, but they are not you.

You are not so limited, that you’re only your beliefs. Because if that was true, life would be dull and there would be no possibility of miracles happening. In the awareness of whether you are your beliefs and whether those beliefs are serving you – therein lies new possibility, new choices, new beliefs, new results. Therein lies hope, beauty, & magnificence.

At the end of the entire session someone asked me – if someone’s life was already working, why would they need to work on themselves anymore?

Here’s the truth about nature – if you’re not growing, you’re dying. Nature never remains constant, nor still. It is always in a flux of change: birth, transformation, growth, death, repeat. And human beings are a part of nature, so we are the same – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually – if we’re not constantly striving to grow, we are literally dying on all levels.

Like the mythic Phoenix, we die and become reborn again from our own ashes; more magnificent than before. There is NO END. Unless we so choose to spend all our energy holding ourselves still in a fluxing universe. Remaining “safe”. Remaining mediocre. Breathing, but never fully alive. Existing, but never fully present.

Why would anyone want to live that way?

Well, I get it – because it is scary to be vulnerable. But all great men & women in the history of humankind have to endure the trials of personal transformation.

Think of Gandhi – his story is inspiring because he was a shy, stuttering, unsure young man with no purpose in life, who then became the Mahatma that had more influence and true personal power than any living person in his time. He was the Phoenix that chose to die, be reborn, grow, transform & die again – many times over in his lifetime.

Think of Nelson Mandela – his story inspires because he was a rowdy, aggressive, stubborn activist that was jailed and released, jailed and released many a time; before he became the man who united a hatred-filled racist country under one flag, one heart. He too, chose to be the Phoenix.

There are so many more great beacons of inspiration from the history of mankind – and there is one constant you will notice if you should choose to study all their life stories. NONE became who they became without enduring the trials and tribulations of their personal fires, to confront their self-limiting beliefs, to keep or discard, to form new ones, and to constantly be on that path – because they understand, that they are UNLIMITED in their capacity for growth and personal transformation.

So, no matter what people say to you while you are on this path – do not let it deter you from achieving your fullest life purpose. And there’s only one way towards achieving that – you must be willing to be the Phoenix, and accept with gratitude, that the process never ends. For that, is the true gift of being alive.


PS: We all need guidance, so learn and hang with those on the path. Check out the blog of a true Phoenix-Jedi Master Randy Gage. And if you’re in Malaysia, enroll in this amazing, life-changing program called Advanced Living Series. But only if you choose to be the Phoenix. xoxo

Supernova Baby

I think
I loved you
From the moment
I saw your face
Your eyes
were twinkling
by the wideness of your smile
under the kiss of the full moon
I can’t remember
The last time I fell
In love this way
But as all stars
are destined
To burn out eventually
So too
did your fascination with me
And I realized
That I was just
Your supernova baby.


Something I wrote some time back to cope with a heartbreak. Thought I’d share it now that my heart is healed.🙂


Wellness Is A Lifestyle, Baby!


Just a note for ya before I call it a night.

If you’re following me on twitter, or friends with me on facebook; you’d probably notice that I’m quite a wellness freak. I am vegetarian, prefer macrobiotic, organic food; workout daily; don’t do junk food, alcohol or take any addictive substances; and am all-around a pain in the ass to be around if you’re not into wellness.

Seriously – just ask any of my friends.😉

But it wasn’t always that way. If you read my older post on smoking and maybe someday I’ll do one about being an alcoholic, then you’d know that I spent the 2nd decade of my life totally living to die.

Now, I’m 2, almost 3 years into my 3rd decade on this planet and the truth is, I feel better, hotter and more together now on so many levels than I ever did before. I am able to wear the same clothes I wore when I was 18-21 years old. And let me tell you – that is a helluva rush!

So what’s my point?

Well, the process of my transformation towards “living-to-live” vs “living-to-die” started about 5 years ago from today – and it was a PROCESS, meaning it happened gradually – by regularly taking high-quality nutritional supplementation, going semi-vegetarian, getting more spiritual, meditating, engaging in more personal development, exercising more, quitting smoking, drinking, AND destructive relationships; stopping junk TV and negative media; staying away from life-consuming computer games; etc.

And people will always invariably ask me, “how long do I need to (exercise, diet, supplement, read, etc) for?”

Well hon, the simple answer is: Forever baby, FOREVER.

Because wellness is a lifestyle, not a program.

That’s what I learned in my own process on this path – and it may seem daunting if you’re in the worst shape or place in your life right now, but once you get on this path; it’s one of the most rewarding ever.

The point is to just want to live more than you want to die. And when you want that, it will show in everything you do – your actions are just a manifestation of your thoughts.

And there’s no way I could have done it all alone, or continue doing it alone right now! Here’s some of the people, sites, and foods that I seriously recommend if you wanna get started on becoming a better you – and you’ll see, it covers more than just your body:

1. It all starts in your mind – Randy Gage
For total mental reprogramming, I recommend my beloved mentor and friend. They don’t call him the modern-day Napoleon Hill for no reason. Amongst a host of other achievements too lengthy to list here, he is the preeminent expert on the manifestation of prosperity & abundance, and most importantly – he walks his talk. He IS abundance and prosperity. Just check him out for a couple of months, and you won’t have to believe me – you’ll come to that conclusion yourself. Go subscribe to all these links now if you are serious about really living well in all spheres of your life:
Randy Gage’s Abundance & Prosperity Blog
Randy Gage’s Prosperity TV

2. Spiritually-inclinedAbraham-Hicks
Just check them out, I have no idea how to explain them better than they already do.

3. For quitting smoking – WhyQuit.com
Got my quit guide scouring this website & I am so grateful to them! Please pass this on to all your smoker friends.

4. For a rocking bodyBodyRock.tv
Found this site a couple of days ago and I’m telling you, I’m hooked! No more excuses if you have no gym or time – the workouts are as short as 6 minutes and none of them require a gym! Amazing stuff! Find something for yourself here and GET STARTED! If the chick’s bod don’t inspire you – I don’t know what will!🙂
BodyRock.tv Blog Site
BodyRock.tv YouTube Channel

5. For a personal trainer:
Met this guy only a couple of times, but I learned so much just those times from him and have used his advice on myself so often, I feel absolutely obliged to list him here. Cool dude & he knows his stuff. So if you’re looking for a personal trainer in Klang Valley, Malaysia – check him out: Wong Yu Jin (special thanks to Lai May Leng for introducing!)

6. For the world’s ONLY gel suspension nutrition – Agel
These are my products, and because of this company and their amazing products – I got started towards the path of total wellness 5 years ago. I use almost all their nutritional supplements; all day long. There is no beating the convenience of gel packs and its amazing bio-availability. This is no commercial plug – these stuff WORKS, I know – because I use them and I look younger now than I did 3 years ago, and I dropped 11kgs in 10 weeks on the weight program. So if you want high-quality nutrition that actually works and tastes great – without choking down pills, blending powders or lugging heavy juice bottles around; check this out and let me know when you wanna get some!

7. For some amazing vegan food that is orgasmically delicious – Woods Macrobiotic
So you think that good, whole, healthy food can’t taste delish? Well, you have no idea what you’re missing. I don’t know where else you can find this restaurant chain – but just google macrobiotic, organic, restaurants for your area and you’ll hopefully find some. Amazing food. Totally. Out. Of. This. World. Better than whatever junk food you might usually crave for. I promise.

I have more but this post is getting too long. Other things to add into your life for wellness – massages, reflexology, great sex, family time, awesome friends, beautiful music, amazing art, lots of laughter, moonlight swims, inspiring books, and tear-jerking movies. Oh. And shopping. Lots of it.😉

So, here’s to your journey towards total wellness. There’s only one way to do it – just start & take it one step at a time. It gets easy and soon, you wouldn’t wanna live any other way.😉

Let me know some of your recommendations too so I can check them out!


Sandcastles by the Sea

Don’t build sandcastles by the sea –
if you want it to last,
but if you must;
don’t use sand.

You can’t control the sea nor its currents,
and raging at it will make no difference,
but you can control how you build the castle;
and that,
can change everything.

~ Jamie Loh 11 December 2011

When I Was Ugly

I remember when I was 13 and utterly self-conscious of my body. I was a skinny, gangly kid with long hair, worn way past my waist – with sticks for legs, and my frame was totally boyish. I was a late bloomer.

The idea of wearing a bikini was beyond me. I was so painfully shy, I couldn’t imagine revealing so much of my body that way. I thought I looked terrible and everyone would be laughing.

I also hated taking pictures, and being captured on video killed me. I would never look at them again, and every time I did I was so critical of how I looked that I always looked horrible to myself. I was too skinny, my hair was too messy, my teeth was crooked, my lips too big – it was never ending.

Maybe it is that way when people go through their teenage years, but I took that feeling of self-criticism all the way to my mid-twenties. I never thought I was good enough and of course, everything that I saw about myself, affirmed the exact way I felt about me.

By the time I was in my twenties, I was too fat, my face too round, my eyes too small, my clothes too tight; that was what I saw in those photos. The reasons for self-detestation may be different, but the underlying story remained unchanged – I still didn’t like who I saw.

It’s funny, but I found all these photos and videos again now as I was house-moving; and I wondered how I could have thought that girl in the photos was anything but beautiful.

It was fascinating when I was sitting there sifting through all my old photos – remembering how disgusted I felt looking at them over 10 years ago, and marveling at the total change in the way I see myself now in those same photos.

The photos didn’t change. The way I saw myself changed, and that changes everything.

It’s my reminder for me that I see the world as I am, I don’t see the world as it is. And if I wanted something to change in my world, I need look no further than to just change the way I see it. That was a simple and powerful affirmation on how I, and I alone, have the power to change anything in my life.

And for that, I am truly grateful.

So when you find yourself criticizing – take a pause, and be a little kinder. There is a difference between criticizing and recognizing, the former terminates possibilities and options; while the latter opens them up for you to make a different choice. This holds true whether it’s your relationship with you, with another, or with the world.

Be acutely aware on how you are seeing, because it is your quickest indication on how you are being.

Namaste. xoxo

Lessons From Con-Men

I started working for money at 18. That age marked the beginning of one of the darkest, yet most educational, periods of my life.

Working in bars and entertainment outlets while going through college, I met men of all ages, all backgrounds, and with all sorts of intentions.

There were the distraught husbands in bad marriages that they don’t want to fix. The cheating husbands that came in at 7pm for dinner with their wives, left at 9pm, and came back again at 11pm with their mistresses.

The pushers who will try to sell you anything and everything for that one elusive high. The corporate yuppies who wanted to just drink down a bad day at work and forget for a couple of hours, that they have to get back to that same bleak existence the next morning.

The jocks who just jostled the whole night at the foosball tables. The freeloaders that come in with their rich friends, polishing off bottle after bottle but slinking away to the loo when the bill folder arrives. The smooth shooters hanging at the pool tables, chugging their beers, chalking their cues and playing for “winners’ stay” all night long.

The players who dress like they walked out of a GQ cover, dropping the same cheesy pick-up lines that for some bizarre reason, works every time – or maybe it’s just the really nice cars the valet brings them that seals the deal with pretty young things night after night.

The young boys that just graduated into this seemingly exciting and mysterious adult world, acting macho and downing alcohol by the bottle – swiping for the bill with their daddy’s supplementary credit cards.

The expat trying to kill another lonely night away from their homeland far away. And the VIPs with their bulky bodyguards, sitting alone, sipping wine, smoking a cigar and watching the crowd.

I met them all. Some, became my friends – and followed me from joint to joint as I changed jobs. And some, once they got to the point where they realized I am not susceptible to their romantic advances (being in a relationship that whole period) – turned me into a drinking buddy/ confidante instead.

While some, offered me job opportunities in their companies or businesses. And one day, fed up with the dead-end vicious cycle of the relentlessly mind-numbing entertainment circuit, I took up one of the offers from a VIP that prospected me for 6 months to work in his trading firm. Always, he is in a 3-piece-suit, something that is decidedly hard to do in the mucky tropical Malaysian weather; with a bodyguard shadowing him, and a driver dropping him off at the bar by 5pm every other day.

He took to having conversations with me, and soon started to pursue me to work for him. He owned a trading firm and was relentless in his approach. And one day I agreed – deciding to walk away forever from the entertainment scene to pursue my financial dreams working with this man.

The first day of work at his luxurious office in downtown KL, he gave me an office with a wrap-around window view. He taught me the trade – how to read graphs, charts, indices, market trends. He showed me how to lead prospects themselves to close the deal for me. And soon I brought in enough revenue for him that he made me the head of department, managing a group of men at least 2 decades older than me – who’ll have to report to me monthly.

I was still only 22 then and dying to own the world. I was fearless, impressionable, gullible, and ambitious. I started out broke and so was driven to work really hard, and on such bad terms with my family then that I haven’t had a proper conversation with my dad in 2 years. I wanted to do it all, to prove that I had what it takes to succeed in a world dominated by men, and I thought I could do it alone. I was arrogant. I was blinded by the money I was making and jaded by the company I was keeping.

And as I learned from this chapter of my young life – all that, made for a very dangerous combination. And one day, the time bomb of inexperience exploded.

In less than a year I worked there, the outfit was shut down by the authorities. I walked straight into it reporting to work one morning, finding out from my PA that the Directors were all not contactable, turning around to see the enforcement agents from the Securities Department crashing in and confiscating everything in sight. I spent the whole day being interrogated. All my clients’ money got frozen with the company’s bank account. Only after 7 years was the case finally closed – when they found one of the Directors and put him in jail. When I received that letter in the mail, I broke down and cried.

That was one of the most unnerving experiences in my life. I was so traumatized. I started questioning my own lack of judgment. And for the next 5 years, I spiraled into a life of mediocrity – afraid, so afraid of my ambitions to be wealthy – wanting only to be in a safe job with a legit company. Trying to reinstate my own self-worth. It didn’t matter that I took a massive pay-cut. I didn’t want any of it. To me at that moment, money was evil. Men were evil. I was racked with guilt. I spent years trying to rebuild relationships with the people who trusted me but got hurt in this incident.

But now, I’ve forgiven myself and that man too. I look back now and I realize that it was an extremely valuable experience – especially in the arena of learning about myself and human psychology. That chapter has closed for me, but the lessons I’ve learned from that period – would serve me for the rest of my life:

1. Do not be impressed easily – look for the substance, not just the form in all you encounter
3-piece Armani suits, nice, flashy sports cars, VIP reservations at all the best joints in town, fine dining, cash splashing, drivers and bodyguards, dinners and gifts, posh offices and beautiful homes; I love these things – but this experience taught me to see the difference between the authentic and the sincere. It’s not the stuff, it’s who’s showing you all these stuff – and why. Heed your instincts, they won’t lead you wrong.

2. A fool and his money will always be parted
I don’t need to deliberate on this, but I have had first-hand training on how to cajole money out of someone by having him/ her suggest it too. Seeing this in action is fascinating and scary at the same time, and I had issues beating myself up for learning and using these tactics while I was working there. But now I see that everyone is responsible for their own decisions, and mine is to operate with the highest level of integrity, while being aware of all these tactics in the market. Greed is the biggest factor why someone ends up being conned. Be wary of anything that sounds too good to be true, do your own due diligence, and seek third-party counsel before making decisions in areas you are unfamiliar with.

3. There is no such thing as a short-cut to success
Ah. The delusion of all gamblers and con-men, wanting to get a better deal from the world. Being only willing to pay $1, yet expecting $100 return; work an hour but be paid for 10. There is no such thing. Taking short-cuts cost a price dearer than gold – your character, and self-respect. And it gets you nowhere worthwhile for very long.

4. Be in possession of your own mind
You know all the jazz about NLP, mind influence, etc? Well, take full responsibility for your own decisions and thoughts, and you’ll never have to worry about someone influencing you to do something that is detrimental to you. Everyone and everything in your daily life IS trying to influence you, you can’t avoid it. So don’t be a passive about this – own your thoughts! It’s 100% your call, all the time.

5. Stand for what you believe in
So shit happens. My con-men Directors disappears, I’m next-in-command, and the shit’s hitting the fan. And yeah, I was still 22 – but by then I was feeling 52. So what? Deal with all the mess you find yourself in in a manner that you won’t regret. Stand up to it, and fight for what you believe in. Own up if you made a mistake – face up to those you indirectly wronged. I learned that it’s not your gender or age that determines whether you’re strong or not – it’s your values and the courage to stand for what is right when it’s the toughest to do so. It’s about whether you’ll walk the right path, even if you have to walk it alone. And that’s a choice and it’s always worth it to take the higher path.

6. Learn from every experience
This was probably the only way I could pick myself up, move on & make different choices that can move my life forward. This philosophy is now indelibly ingrained onto my soul because of painful experiences like these. And truly, for that, I am grateful.

Sometimes, like tonight, I wonder what became of these men. I hope they are well and have found their peace. I still believe in the inherent goodness of people, probably more now than I ever did before, even after experiences like this.

It is a beautiful thing that the human condition is so varied, textured, and rich with both positive and negative experiences – offering us the opportunity to make different choices, in the pursuit of defining who we really are.

So, if you’re in a position where you felt that someone did wrong by you, or you felt that you did wrong by someone – find the graciousness in your heart to forgive, but forget not the lesson it has wrapped within.

Without fail, our biggest trials are truly our biggest gifts, just choose to see them as such and you’ll see that it is true. And whether it accelerates your personal growth or stunt it, that is your call – therein lies the magic of each of our lives.