In the last couple of weeks, I found myself finally reaching the point where I was ready to define my purpose and commit to the career path I have been flirting with for the last 20 years.
I have been in the marketing communications, sales and networking realm – working as an employee from the levels of a junior ‘kuli’ (read: slave labor in Malay) executive, all the way up to top management in corporate organisations; as a network marketing professional, battling with low self-esteem and perceived stigma from the people I tried to prospect in the first few painful years breaking into the business, to speaking on stages around the world training other networkers and leading a team of over 4,000 people – giving me a taste of what passive income feels like; and as an entrepreneur, struggling with cashflow problems and ill-equipped with no business experience nor skills to navigate a very tumultuous and expensive learning curve.
And now, almost 20 years later, I am here – finally ready to commit. To my path as a marketing entrepreneur.
And I found myself wondering why – why did I walk this path? Why have I not allowed myself to commit? And why am I ready to commit to this now?
And the answer is – Timing.
Whether it is baking a cake, waiting for the flower to bloom or the final manifestation of any project – I learnt that there is a timing for everything. And in the last couple of years, I have learnt the art of surrender to this natural flow of timing whilst I work on myself and projects on hand to the best of my ability.
I also learnt to let my heart lead me towards the work I choose to do or otherwise, and that at most times, ‘being logical’ is pretty useless in getting you to places you need to be to get to where you are meant to go. Simply because logic is a summarised theory of the past, it’s nothing new, always old. So unless I wanted to return to where I came from, it didn’t make any sense to count on my own logic.
In the years getting to this point, I developed 3 personal criteria to help me decide whether I actually take up what is offered to me or continue doing what I was doing: (1) I must respect (not like) the people I work with, (2) I must love and believe in the work I do, and (3) I must only do it only because I want to.
Doing my best is important to my happiness, and not abiding by the 3 criteria I set for myself above, I couldn’t possibly do my best. Also, I allowed myself the freedom to make mistakes, and change my mind.
This has kept me happy, and sane(r than usual). I have walked away from lots of money, unsuitable business partners, non-committal relationship partners (broke my heart every time), logical advice from well-meaning friends, toxic and energy-sucking relationships, and the security of cushy corporate positions that demanded my soul, integrity and happiness. And I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
It helped too that I built my work schedule around my annual personal holiday schedule and not the other way around. Not usual, I know – but after over a decade in my 20s of putting others first and nearly killing myself in the process, this actually made a lot more sense, and it works to keep me in a good place to continuously give my best.
So back to my ‘timing’ right now. I woke up a few weeks ago and found that right now, I am ready for unabashed success and achievement. Right now, I am ready to give all that I am to get that which I set my sights on. Right now, I am ready to discard all that is half-assed and mediocre to risk having only that which is excellent in everything within my space. Right now, I am only content with the best. In all areas of my life. And boy, it was an exhilarating eureka moment!
Because truly – this wasn’t how it all started out for me. 20 years ago, I had no clue what I was doing nor why. I have done good, but never have I ever felt this level of sureness about what I need to do and how I will choose to do it.
You see, I didn’t choose this industry nor profession because it was never my first choice for how I would want to live my life. I was a dancer, I danced 14 years of my life from 4 years old till 18. Having performed most of my youth, s0 much so I never watched any TV in the 80’s. So when it wasn’t an option for me to continue in the performance arts when I graduated from high school, I was in a flux.
Advertising, communications, marketing, sales – these were all just a means to an end, I never thought of it as a career or life path, and I was searching for was an end for me that can translate into freedom, money and the option to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want, and wherever I want. I spent my entire 20s and 30s going after that which would give me freedom, something I valued more than anything else in the world.
And finally it led me here. On the brink of my 40s, in exhilaration, I finally KNOW that I am free. It’s no longer an ideal nor a distant goal, it is who I am and what I already possess. I have chosen all my decisions consciously for the last couple of years. I live my life for myself. I need no one to accompany me on the road towards achieving what I choose, and I know by pure choice I can and will create exactly what I desire in my life. I have amazing people in my life that stay with me by choice. I respect the people I work with. I do work that I love and gives my day meaning. I love many and am loved in return. I am happy.
And because I have no need nor pressure to commit to anything that I don’t want, I am ready to commit to create something spectacular because spectacular doesn’t come without commitment, half-assed won’t do. Everything up till now have been good, great even – but right now, I want spectacular. To give back spectacularly to the world, to create spectacularly in honour of our aliveness, to contribute spectacular work for my clients. Anything less will not do.
And whilst I have locked in all my websites, blog sites, and social media pages under my name a decade ago (smart move I know, thanks) – I didn’t know what to really do with them until now. I have pretty much just left them sitting around, communicating nothing very much.
Checking in to WordPress earlier today – it announced brightly on my dashboard that my last post was 4 years ago. That’s perfect. Because that’s a perfect reflection of my truth – I wasn’t ready, the timing wasn’t right, but now I am and so I’m back – ready to do spectacular work as a marketing entrepreneur on a global scale, collaborating with other amazing people and utilising everything I have ever learnt in my rather winding and tumultuous journey here.
I am so #grateful to be here!
Hence, this inaugural post since my hiatus is but an expression of my clarity right now, and to commemorate this divine #timing from which I would hold myself to start creating #truly #spectacular results for the world around me. I thank you for reading till the end and sharing my declaration. Please hold me to it so that my journey here on earth will be one that is worthwhile to our future.
Finally, if you are keen to #collaborate or #connect – I would love to do so to see how we can do more together. Hook me up here or on any of my social media platforms. I would love to hear your own personal timing stories on any topic too.
Thanks and I’ll be back soon!